MW 'I enjoy vacations to Europe': I'm 75, have $1 million in an IRA and $2.4 million in real estate. Why do I feel guilty?

By Quentin Fottrell

'We have no long-term-care insurance. When I become debilitated, I plan to end my life at Dignitas.'

Dear Quentin,

I am 75 and work three days a week as a psychologist. I retired from a state job after 38 years, and I receive a monthly pension of approximately $5,500 after taxes. I waited until 70 to take Social Security and receive $3,200 after taxes. My current job pays me $10,000 monthly after taxes.

My wife, 67, just retired and has no pension. She claimed Social Security at 66 years, 8 months - her full retirement age - because based on our calculations of Social Security claiming strategies, we determined that due to the difference in our ages, our total Social Security receipts would be higher if she did not wait till 70.

'We have no outstanding debt other than a mortgage balance of $110,000 on a home valued at $1.2 million.'

We have no outstanding debt other than a mortgage balance of $110,000 on a home valued at $1.2 million. Our current mortgage-interest rate is 2.75%. The house has been updated thoroughly, from chimneys and roof to a new designer kitchen. Our cars have low mileage and will last a long time.

Our only son is highly successful at a hedge fund. We gave him a private-school education as well as paid off his Ivy League summa cum laude math degree. We will leave no inheritance for our son. We love him dearly, but we frontloaded investing in his education. Anything left over should go to educate children in India (our country of birth) and Africa.

Here is what we are planning

I plan to retire in a couple of years, after our mortgage is fully paid off. We will downsize to a condo. At that time, our total income will be my pension and our two Social Security benefits, for a total of $11,300 a month, which actually will cover all our expenses including our mortgage payment. My current $10,000 monthly income will stop.

I have $1 million in an IRA and my wife has $1.3 million in an IRA. We have an apartment in India that, if sold, would net us $1.2 million after all taxes. I have always worked in public service, first leading a crisis service for the acutely mentally ill. My current job is in nursing homes and hospice. My wife is spending more time in ballet lessons and art classes.

'I plan to retire in a couple of years after the mortgage is fully paid off.'

We have no long-term-care insurance. When I become debilitated, I plan to end my life at Dignitas. I may do so when I can no longer serve my patients. My wife will return to India where, due to labor-cost arbitrage, her care costs will be minimal.

What am I overlooking? We have one grandson and we will fund a 529 to cover college, although our son and his wife, another hedge-fund trader, have enough. I feel guilty. I enjoy vacations to Europe and have not reined in my lifestyle to help others more, as the Australian philosopher Peter Singer advises people to do.

Ready for Retirement (Soon)

Related: I'm 85 with 2 kids and $4 million. My daughter wants a larger share of my estate than my son to compensate for unequal treatment by her father.

Dear Guilty,

Don't give up on your aging body just yet.

If you are fortunate enough to live a long life and feel your body slowing down, you may find other gifts that the world has to offer. You are obviously someone who needs to be useful and finds purpose through work and helping other people, and I salute your efforts to do this through the money you and your wife have accumulated over your lifetime.

I don't know why you feel guilty, except that we can be hard on ourselves, telling ourselves that we don't do enough. That may be true, as Peter Singer wrote in his landmark 1971 essay "Famine, Affluence, and Morality," but we can also be too hard on ourselves, and use fear and guilt and the belief that we don't have enough to move us forward.

Once a person reaches full retirement age, as you have, work-related income no longer has an effect on Social Security benefits.

You and your wife appear to have mastered the art of investing - including investing in your son, in children in India, and in the future - and balancing work and life, pursuing your leisure activities, vocations and charitable endeavors. You put time and effort into building this life, so the least you can do is enjoy your European vacations together.

If you wish to retire, great. If you want to work part-time, try that out too. Once a person reaches full retirement age, as you have, work-related income no longer has an effect on Social Security benefits. So you have the best of both worlds. You seem to thrive within a structure that combines professional and personal accomplishments.

Setting up a trust

You don't seem to be missing much. If you want your estate and your wishes to remain private and confidential, a trust will serve you better than a last will and testament, which will go through probate court. When your will is filed with probate court, it becomes part of the public record. You may also wish to consider converting a portion of your traditional IRA to a Roth.

If you set up a revocable trust, you can be both grantor and trustee, and you will have the freedom to change the terms. You can leave instructions to distribute the assets held by the trust according to your wishes - such as funding additional 529 tax-advantaged college savings plans, for instance, should your son have more children. You can retitle your home, bank accounts and other assets into the trust.

Be careful about which charities you choose. You don't want your precious donations to be swallowed up by administrative fees.

Be careful about which charities you choose. You don't want your precious donations to be swallowed up by administrative fees. Guidestar.org, Charitynavigator.org and Give.org, which is run by the Better Business Bureau, all aim to help donors give wisely. These websites detail an organization's impact, financial management and accountability, culture and leadership.

You can apply the same principles to seeking out charities in India. The Charities Aid Foundation $(CAF)$ is a U.K.-based organization that aims to promote charitable giving and strengthen the charity sector globally. The Credibility Alliance is a consortium of voluntary organizations committed to improving accountability and transparency in this sector.

A revocable trust becomes irrevocable upon your death. However, you could add a "trust protector" clause and name a third party to oversee the actions of your trustee. The American Bar Association says this person can correct mistakes made in a trust or modify it to take advantage of tax law. They can also approve accounting and compensation.

End-of-life decisions

Given that you mention end-of-life decisions, now is a good time to set up a power of attorney and a healthcare directive, if you don't have them already. An eldercare attorney and a financial adviser will help you make an accounting of your assets, income, expenses and projected long-term-care costs and plan accordingly.

An advance healthcare directive informs your doctors what action you want them to take if you are unable to make medical decisions yourself. You may wish to list your wife as your healthcare proxy to carry out those decisions. You are a team, but serious medical issues can put pressure on a marriage, as this couple discovered. Make sure you also name a successor to have power of attorney.

Your task now is not wealth accumulation, but rather distribution, and that can be as anxiety-provoking as worrying about retirement.

You could also give your son durable power of attorney for financial and medical decisions, should you and your wife both become incapacitated. This enables you to oversee your healthcare treatment by making directives now, and the more specific, the better. They may state, for example, that you would like to have a "do not resuscitate" clause or a "no blood transfusion" clause.

Some people will read your letter and ask, "What's the problem?" Your task now is not wealth accumulation, but rather distribution, and that can be just as anxiety-provoking as worrying about whether you have enough for retirement. (Well, perhaps not quite.) You are taking stock of your finances and your life, and it sounds like one that was well lived.

Long may it continue.

Related: My wife asked for a divorce after 21 years. She wants to buy a house with our savings, but promises to help pay my mortgage.

You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter.

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell:

My husband will inherit $180K. I think we should invest the money. He wants to pay off his $168K mortgage. Who's right?

'I'm at a loss': My boyfriend of nearly 10 years is naming his elderly parents as beneficiaries and giving them power of attorney. Am I right to be upset?

'We have no prenuptial agreement': Will my wife be able to take my money if I transfer it to my retirement account?

Check out the Moneyist private Facebook group, where we look for answers to life's thorniest money issues. Post your questions or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.

By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Co., the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms.

-Quentin Fottrell

This content was created by MarketWatch, which is operated by Dow Jones & Co. MarketWatch is published independently from Dow Jones Newswires and The Wall Street Journal.

(END) Dow Jones Newswires

July 14, 2025 06:54 ET (10:54 GMT)

Copyright (c) 2025 Dow Jones & Company, Inc.