MW My father was worth millions. I suspect my mother is stealing my inheritance. What can I do?

By Quentin Fottrell

'As I've gotten older, I discovered my father did have quite a large estate'

"My mother said there was nothing left for us, and I was on my own, so I took it at face value and created my life from the ground up." (Photo subject is a model.)

Dear Quentin,

I have a parent who passed many years ago when I was still in college. I grew up in what I would call an upper-middle class household. But as I've gotten older, I've realized I did in fact grow up in a very nice home: private schools, wonderful education, vacation homes etc.

However, when my dad passed, everything stopped. Mind you, this was in early 2000, before the Internet and such. My mother said there was nothing left for us, and I was on my own, so I took it at face value and created my life from the ground up.

'After my father passed, she kicked us to the curb not only financially but also emotionally and as a parent.'

I have created a pretty good life for my family. I'm a GS-14 with the Department of Defense and have a rewarding career. As I've gotten older, I discovered my father did have quite a large estate ($3 million to $4 million).

My brother was not mentioned in my father's will since it was written and registered before he was born. It seems there are still accounts out there in my name, and my mother is drawing money from them, hence the occasional need for her to confirm security questions.

We are not close. After my father passed, she kicked us to the curb - not only financially but also emotionally and as a parent. Even though I was 20 when he died, I grew up in a family where we were very close, so it was quite jarring.

I had to quit school for many years to even figure out how to live and survive.

The Daughter

You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com. The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

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Banks don't have an obligation to seek out beneficiaries.

Dear Daughter,

You did survive.

You're looking in the rearview mirror and, as the old saying goes, some objects appear closer. They include your father's wealth, your mother's access to his assets, and the estrangement that has taken hold of your family in the wake of his death. There's a lot of pain in your letter, and it may be manifesting itself through this financial lens.

You have three problems: a will that should have gone through probate (assuming such a will even existed); suspicions, but no proof, that you have been a named beneficiary on some of your father's accounts; and the statute of limitations on any ability to have to contest the settling of your father's estate.

In New Jersey and California, in most cases, the statute of limitations for will contests after probate is opened is just four months. "For those who reside outside of New Jersey at the time of the will's probate, a little extra time is added," says the Knee Law Firm. "People outside of New Jersey have six months to issue a formal contest of the will."

"After this period, you usually cannot challenge the will or try to claim any portion of the deceased's assets," it adds. "Four months might seem like a very short amount of time, but the good news is that you do have a little extra time in special circumstances. A judge may rule to allow a will challenge after the statute of limitations has passed."

It seems improbable that your mom would have control over an account if the account was in your father's name alone.

An executor who does not send out a notice that the will has been probated to all the deceased's next of kin and beneficiaries is one such reason, the law firm says. "Any sort of fraud, neglect or improper conduct during the probate period may lead to an extension on the time limit for will contests."

Your brother would have had legal standing to contest the will as a "pretermitted heir," a child who was born or adopted after the will was executed. However, given that your father died in early 2000, 25 years likely far exceeds the statute of limitations.

"If a pretermitted heir is not mentioned in the will, they are entitled to receive a share of the estate equivalent to what they would have received if the decedent had died intestate (without a will)," says Mark Ruiz, a California attorney based in the Bay Area. "The law ensures that the pretermitted heir is treated fairly and receives a portion of the estate as if there was no will in place."

"While the law generally protects pretermitted heirs, there are exceptions and limitations," he adds. "For instance, if it can be proven that the omission was intentional or if the pretermitted heir received property outside of the will, they may not be entitled to an intestate share."

If your brother was a minor when your father died, the ability to challenge a will is usually put on hold or "tolled" until the minor reaches the age of majority (18 in most states). But your brother would be at least 24 or 25 by now, and have reached the age of majority six or seven years ago.

The bottom line: You are a survivor and you created a financially independent life for yourself in the years since your father's death. If you truly believe your father's wishes have been ignored, you can contact the probate court in the county where your father lived to access a public copy of any will in existence.

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Notification of beneficiaries

Banks don't necessarily have an obligation to seek out beneficiaries. If a bank had reason to believe someone is unaware they are a beneficiary, if the beneficiary is a minor or otherwise has no knowledge of the account, the bank could choose to take steps to ensure that the beneficiary is aware of their rights, although this is not a statutory requirement.

It seems improbable that your mother would have control over an account - and have online access - if the account was in your father's name alone, and you were listed as a beneficiary. The executor/administrator of your father's will would have notified the financial institution of your father's passing and presented a death certificate.

Depending on where she lives, your mother would have been able to claim an 'elective share' of his estate.

You could hire a lawyer and contact your father's bank and/or contact his then-lawyer, if they are still practising. If there is an account that has been lying dormant for that time, they should be able to locate it. Upon contacting the bank, it has a duty to transfer funds to a named beneficiary after the account holder's death.

My suspicion is that you are conflating the breakdown of your relationship with your mother since your father's death with financial skulduggery. Keep in mind that many states have rules that make it difficult and/or impossible to completely disinherit a spouse. It's highly unlikely an attorney would have suppressed your father's will.

Depending on where she lives, your mother would have been able to claim an "elective share" of his estate, the amount of which depends on how long they were married. This applies even if your father had explicitly disinherited his wife (which seems unlikely). The elective share is still valid even if your father simply omitted your mother from his will.

If you believe your mother - or anyone - has used your personal information or Social Security number to open an account or borrow money or in any way impersonate you, log onto all three major credit bureaus - Experian (EXPGY) , TransUnion (TRU) and Equifax $(EFX)$- and lock your credit so no one can take out loans or open accounts in your name.

Talk to your mother. Talk to the bank. Talk to your probate court. And then let it go.

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Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell:

'I have a great mortgage rate': I need $80K to buy my husband out of our home. Do I raid my $180K Roth IRA?

'I'm tired of corporate America': My wife and I have $1.65 million. I'm 61. Can I retire already?

'This scam stuff is going to get worse': A man approached me in my car - he had a crazy story

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-Quentin Fottrell

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August 14, 2025 07:18 ET (11:18 GMT)

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