MW My stepmother's lawyer called us 'greedy' for fighting for our father's estate. How do I bring this nightmare to an end?

By Quentin Fottrell

'During the marriage, all his real estate ended up in trusts he didn't fully understand'

"He died in 2023 with three properties valued around $2 million locked in trusts, and about $500,000 in mortgages in his name alone." (Photo subject is a model.)

Dear Quentin,

I've known my wife's family for over 25 years, long before her father remarried. Her mother died in 2009, and not long after, her father married a second wife. In hindsight, it felt like he was targeted. He was good with his hands, had a strong line of credit and was still working. She, on the other hand, was twice divorced, facing bank actions and about to lose her mother's home due to disrepair and poor finances.

In the later years, their marriage became abusive. He was deeply unhappy and even filed for divorce, but the case fizzled due to inactivity. He feared her, couldn't find a way out of certain financial arrangements and lived under constant strain.

During the marriage, all his real estate ended up in trusts he didn't fully understand. After major renovations he personally financed and performed, the second wife's daughter - a luxury realtor who no one in the family had met until she was standing over his body in the hospital the day he died - brought in her own lawyer to pressure him into signing away his ownership in two of the three properties.

The deeds on all property landed in trusts he was excluded from, and debt ended up in his name only, leaving him on the hook while the assets were elsewhere.

His second wife objected to his will

He died in 2023 with three properties valued around $2 million locked in trusts, and about $500,000 in mortgages in his name alone. The second wife, not named in his will, objected to the will itself and to my wife being appointed as personal representative. That left the probate stalled for nearly two years under a special personal representative with limited powers. We've now had to bring the fight into the Superior Court.

Through forensic examination, we confirmed that signatures on key trust and deed documents were not his - and that my wife's signature as trustee had also been forged. Yet when this finally reached Superior Court, the defendants didn't even show up. Their lawyer did - and called my wife and her sister "greedy pigs in the mud" for fighting to protect their father's legacy.

The truth is, they have changed locks, filed false police reports, taken every asset, never offered a cent toward the wake, and for nearly two years have faced no consequences. Meanwhile, we've spent over $100,000 taking the high road while they seem to skate by untouched. Now we're being pushed toward mediation - with a counterparty who took everything and still refuses to make it right.

When my own father died, I saw the same tactics - locks changed, false reports filed - used against my family, and costs tied to litigation and similar conflicts burned his estate to dust. I've now lived through this twice. At what point do you stop believing the courts will deliver justice and accept that the game is rigged?

Drained by These Alleged Estate Grifters

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You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com. The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

Our choice of attorney can say as much about us as our choice of friends, partner and political party.

Dear Drained,

Show me your lawyer - and I'll show you who you are.

Our choice of attorney can say as much about us as our choice of friends, partner and political party. Your values clearly diverge from those of your wife's stepmother, for myriad reasons, but don't allow profane or aggressive language used in a courtroom to deter you from your goal. Emotional arguments can be just as persuasive as legal and financial ones. You are feeling the pressure of all three.

I also suspect that the reason you are taking this case and refusing to roll over, despite the $100,000 in legal fees, is because of the treatment your wife's stepmother allegedly dished out to her father during his lifetime, and the principle that everything her father worked for should not be handed over to this person and her family. Your father-in-law's will and those allegedly forged signatures say otherwise.

You have pursued your wife's inheritance, and their name-calling could be the cries of a dying beast.

Which brings me back to the rough and tumble of the courtroom. If you think you are under pressure, imagine the pressure your stepmother-in-law's family and her attorney are under to win this case, given everything you have said in your letter. You have not engaged in any alleged illegal practices. You have pursued what you believe to be your wife's inheritance, and their name-calling could be the cries of a dying beast.

Your father-in-law had diminished capacity. In addition to all of the above, forcing an elderly person who is sick in the hospital and/or dying to sign important legal and financial documents, which would include committing assets to a trust, is a red flag for undue influence and/or coercion. It could also constitute elder financial abuse, something that can result in criminal as well as civil penalties.

The law is in your favor

"The process in the Superior Court to fight these sorts of injustices is often slower than parties expected," says Andrew G. Smith, shareholder at Weinstock Manion, a law firm in Los Angeles. You will eventually be given the opportunity to present all of the evidence at a trial, call witnesses who can testify on your behalf, and present experts who will hopefully support your version of events, he adds.

"While the idea of mediating with someone who has harmed your wife's family so thoroughly may seem offensive, the goal of mediation is always to see if there is some way to end the litigation earlier than trial, which would save many thousands of dollars of legal fees and likely months, if not years, of further anguish and uncertainty dealing with this litigation," Smith adds.

"In any event, at mediation, you aren't required to see or interact with your father-in-law's second wife directly, and you are certainly not required to agree to anything unless you want to," he says. "If you do go to trial and prevail, there are often mechanisms that can punish the wrongdoer for the harm they caused, from their own disinheritance to punitive damages for elder abuse and theft."

Elder financial abuse is often carried out by family members, caregivers, friends, or even a financial adviser or lawyer.

Elder financial exploitation is often carried out by family members, caregivers, neighbors, friends, a partner or even a financial adviser or lawyer. In other words, anyone who is in close proximity to the elderly person. If that is the case here, it's unfortunate and tragic that your father-in-law's wife has allegedly taken it upon herself to have documents signed with fake signatures.

The types of assets that are usually at the center of such cases? Trust and estate plans, powers of attorney, wills, deeds, beneficiary designations and gifts, says Suzanne R. Fanning, a probate and estate lawyer based in Ann Arbor, Mich. "Usually, the first time someone becomes aware that undue influence might be at work is after a person dies. It is then that one child might discover that his or her parent changed a will or trust.

"An influencer might persuade the elder person to change his or her power of attorney to name the influencer as the agent," she adds. "Another example might be a family member who is named in a will or trust as the beneficiary of a house. The family member finds out that the decedent executed a deed shortly before his or her death that transferred the property to another person."

Don't expect reasonable behavior

Beneficiary designations are all-too-easily changed. "A person who is unduly influencing an elderly person might seek to be named as a joint owner on the elder's bank accounts," Fanning says. "After the elderly person's death, the undue influencer is the sole owner of those accounts. Family members who think that the bank accounts are in the estate soon find out that they have no right to those assets."

It's easy to recognize a bad actor's behavior as abnormal, but still "normalize" the bad actor. That is, I understand why you are still shocked and driven up the wall by their behavior and unwillingness to settle. I can see why you are amazed and shocked by the revelations, which you say include forgery. It's hard to come to the realization that you are not dealing with a person who subscribes to the rules of your moral universe.

Being effectively gaslighted and called names by the alleged perpetrator must be both maddening and exhausting.

Being effectively gaslighted and called names by the alleged perpetrator must be both maddening and exhausting. How can this be, given what has been brought to light thus far? The attention can often focus on the characteristics of the victim, your late father-in-law in this case, as a way of warning others that their elderly parents could fall prey to a predator who seeks out vulnerable targets, opportunists or, in fact, both.

Don't apply the same rules of society to alleged abusers. Martin Hagan, an attorney based in Pennsylvania, says: "A mark of perpetrators, both opportunists and predators, is that even when confronted with overwhelming proof of their exploitation, they do not apologize or express remorse for their actions. Their responses more often are aggression and anger directed at the accuser."

The burden of proof lies with you - and it sounds like you're more than halfway there.

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August 22, 2025 11:30 ET (15:30 GMT)

MW My stepmother's lawyer called us 'greedy' for -2-

Others who suspect their elderly relative is in danger can contact the National Elder Fraud Hotline at 833-372-8311 or adult protective services. Visit the Eldercare Locator or call toll-free at 800-677-1116. The Financial Industry Regulatory Authority has this guide. You can also file a report with the Internet Crime Complaint Center, a division of the FBI, and National Adult Protective Services Association.

Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell:

I need $80K to buy my husband out of our home. Do I raid my IRA?

Are Americans squandering their retirement savings on dining out?

I could steal from my children's trust fund without them having a clue

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-Quentin Fottrell

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