MW 'We don't want to get into trouble': Can we give our daughter a $30K wedding gift without involving the IRS?

By Quentin Fottrell

'What is the best way to go about this?'

"It's my understanding an individual can give $19,000 in a year without triggering a taxable event." (Photo subjects are models.)

Dear Quentin,

My husband and I plan to help our daughter with some of her wedding expenses. It's my understanding an individual can give $19,000 in a year without triggering a taxable event. What is the best way to go about this? We don't want to get into trouble. My plan is to contribute approximately $30,000.

The Mother of the Bride

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You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com. The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

Studies put the average cost of a wedding at $30,000, but wedding website Zola predicts that cost to reach $36,000 - perilously close to the gift-tax exemption limit.

Dear Mother,

You are probably the most diligent taxpayer who has ever written a letter to this column.

When the mother of the bride is planning a wedding with her daughter, typically they are more concerned with flower arrangements, wedding cakes, dresses, menus and venues than they are with triggering a tax event with the Internal Revenue Service. If your daughter has half the diligence that you have in embarking on her new life, she'll be off to a good start.

I have good news and bad news; let's start with the latter. Generally, yes, wedding gifts could be a taxable event, meaning you'd have to file a Form 709. But $30,000 is well within your annual/lifetime limit. The gift allowance is $38,000 annually for a couple, and $27.98 million for a couple ($13.99 million per individual) for a lifetime.

Your gift of $30,000, however, does not require a Form 709, given that it's within the annual gift-tax exemption. Matt Boyd, an assistant director of high-net-worth tax planning at Northwestern Mutual, has recently written about this exact issue. "Receiving a cash gift from a loved one for your wedding can be a great way to start off married life," he writes.

"But it might make you think about tax time and whether the gift counts as income," he adds. "As the recipient, you do not have to claim cash gifts as income, so you aren't required to pay taxes on them. But depending on the size of the financial gift and history of giving, a very generous donor might owe taxes on the gift."

If your daughter has half the diligence that you have in embarking on her new life, she'll be off to a good start.

To go straight to the proverbial horse's mouth, the IRS has very simple rules about what is not considered a gift that triggers a taxable event. "The general rule is that any gift is a taxable gift," the IRS says. "However, there are many exceptions to this rule. Generally, the following gifts are not taxable gifts:

1. Gifts that are not more than the annual exclusion for the calendar year. 2. Tuition or medical expenses you pay for someone (the educational and medical exclusions). 3. Gifts to your spouse. 4. Gifts to a political organization for its use. 5. In addition to this, gifts to qualifying charities are deductible from the value of the gift(s) made."

You're not the only ones paying for your child's wedding, but parents are increasingly likely to only pay for around half, according to The Knot, a wedding website. These days, there are online tools to help compile and manage the guest list - which should be one of the first discussions with the bride and groom because that, more than anything, will determine the overall cost.

When you're paying for a big event like this and forking out $30,000, you do have a right to have input into how elaborate an affair it should be. That's probably why so many parents only contribute 50%; it gives the couple more leeway to make their own decisions independently.

The cost of the average wedding is edging closer to the limit. Studies put the average cost of a wedding at $30,000, but wedding website Zola predicts that cost to reach $36,000 - perilously close to the gift-tax exemption limit, helped by the rise in the cost of living. Of course, the real cost of a wedding varies wildly, depending on the location and pocketbook of the families involved.

"There is a contrast between the dreamy, aspirational images couples want to emulate, the trends they want to incorporate, and the reality of what their budget allows," Zola notes. Others opt for the registry office and a demure lunch with close friends, and prefer to save their money for a house.

Now that the IRS is off your back, I hope you enjoy the planning process, which should be just as much fun as the day itself.

Related: My wife and I passed on a family wedding due to a 'no-child' rule. We're now attending a friend's nuptials without our kids. Are we hypocrites?

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

More columns from Quentin Fottrell:

My girlfriend and I are having a symbolic 'wedding.' She does not want to lose her health benefits - and I don't want to lose my shirt. Is that wise?

'We live on a fixed income': My husband and I are retired. We're invited to our niece's destination wedding. Are we obliged to buy a gift?

'I'm an endless honey pot': My wife and I are in our 70s. We gave our son $40,000 for his L.A. wedding. Now he wants more.

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-Quentin Fottrell

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October 25, 2025 09:15 ET (13:15 GMT)

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