'I Feel Like I'm A Renter,' Says A Husband Whose Wife Loaned Him Money For Big Expenses Like HVAC And Mortgage As He Was Making Less Money

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Jan 28

A husband from Oregon says years of financial stress in his marriage came down to one uncomfortable reality: he felt less like a partner and more like a tenant in his own home. Calling into “The ...

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But instead of treating those costs as shared, she expected him to pay her back his half, even when it meant going into debt.The pressure extended beyond home repairs. Mark said he was still expected to pay exactly half of the mortgage and daycare costs even when his lower income meant he had little left to save for retirement. “That’s going to not allow me to put as much into, say, a 401 or savings,” he said.By the end of the call, the discussion had shifted away fro","collect":0,"end_time":0,"defaultTopTitle":"benzinga.com","property":[],"viewcount":null,"language":"en","relate_stocks":{"HVAC":"Advisorshares Hvac And Industrials ETF"},"translate_title":"一位丈夫说：“我觉得自己像个租房者。”他的妻子借钱给他支付暖通空调和抵押贷款等大额开支，因为他赚的钱少了","themeId":null,"isJumpTheme":false,"ttsUrl":null,"symbols_score_info":{"HVAC":1.5},"content_text":"A husband from Oregon says years of financial stress in his marriage came down to one uncomfortable reality: he felt less like a partner and more like a tenant in his own home.\nCalling into “The Ramsey Show” recently, Mark from Eugene explained that during the early years of his marriage, his wife earned far more than he did and handled major household expenses upfront. But instead of treating those costs as shared, she expected him to pay her back his half, even when it meant going into debt.\n“I feel like I’m a renter at times,” Mark said, describing a setup where big-ticket items like heating, ventilation, and air conditioning upgrades, solar panels, the mortgage, and daycare were split down the middle regardless of income.\nDon't Miss:\nAt the time, Mark was earning roughly $40,000 to $50,000 a year while his wife made more than $130,000 and had over $100,000 in savings. When a major expense came up, she paid cash, then told him, “Okay, now you owe me half.”\n“Zero parts of that make sense,” co-host George Kamel said when Mark asked if one person makes more than the other, the other person should go into debt to pay the other spouse back. Mark added that while paying her back eventually made them “square,” the process was stressful and dragged on for years.\nThe pressure extended beyond home repairs. Mark said he was still expected to pay exactly half of the mortgage and daycare costs even when his lower income meant he had little left to save for retirement. “That’s going to not allow me to put as much into, say, a 401(k) or savings,” he said.\nKamel said the arrangement sounded less like a marriage and more like “fancy roommates who cuddle on the weekends.” He added that nothing about the situation suggested shared goals, shared decisions, or shared money.\nTrending: Americans With a Financial Plan Can 4X Their Wealth — Get Your Personalized Plan from a CFP Pro\n“Who makes more doesn’t matter,” Kamel said. He gave an example from his own marriage, noting that his wife stays home and earns no income. “It would be insane for me to say, ‘Well, babe, since you make nothing, you owe me half,'” he said, adding that he would be “sleeping on the couch if I’m lucky.”\nMark acknowledged that his wife is about 11 years older and had a strong sense of independence before they met. He said he understands that mindset, but it becomes a problem when it turns into leverage.\n“I don’t know why your savings should continue to balloon while mine either stagnates or depletes,” he said. “What happens later in life? Retirement, are you going to retire without me?”\nSee Also: This ETF issuer isn't chasing the index — it's building tools for income, leverage, and conviction\nKamel said earning more money would not fix the core issue. Even though Mark recently landed a higher-paying job and started a successful business, the underlying tension remains. “You making more doesn’t solve the root problem here,” Kamel said.\nBy the end of the call, the discussion had shifted away from bills and mortgage math. It was about whether both partners truly see themselves on the same team.\n“You become one when you get married,” Warshaw said. “And the foundation of all this is trust and respect,” Kamel added.\nRead Next: Private-Market Real Estate Without the Crowdfunding Risk—Direct Access to Institutional-Grade Deals Managed by a $12B+ Real Estate Firm\nImage: Shutterstock","kind":"highlight","is_publish_news":true,"is_publish_highlight":false,"is_publish_live":false,"is_publish_wemedia":null,"editions":null,"column":"","sentiment":"0","news_tag":"","news_rank":0,"symbols":[],"gpt_button":0,"need_auth":false,"code":"91000000","status":"200"}}}