These questions can jump-start a conversation about estate planning, even if your parents don't want to talk about it

"Estate planning is not really about death. It is about making life easier for your family if something unexpected happens," said financial planner Eric Wiegand.

Most Americans dream of building up a large net worth, yet few think about what might become of their hard-earned wealth if anything unexpected were to happen to them.

Fidelity found that about one-third of people ages 55 and older have never had open conversations about estate planning with their adult children. Among these parents, the main barrier was not knowing how to start.

Just 20% of people in their 40s and 32% of those in their 50s have a will, according to a recent poll by Pew Research. Those shares increased to 46% of people in their 60s and 66% of people in their 70s. Having a will, however, did not mean they had communicated their wishes to their loved ones.

The details of a parent's estate plan carry significant weight, as many Americans say they're counting on an inheritance to help fill out their own retirement savings - which makes it even more critical that everyone involved be aligned.

'Estate planning is not really about death. It is about making life easier for your family if something unexpected happens.'Eric Wiegand, financial planner and senior wealth adviser at River Wealth Advisors

Families that engage in open conversations about these matters are far less anxious about their plans, Fidelity found. "When families talk openly about responsibilities, expectations and wishes, they tend to feel more confident about the future," said Ryan Viktorin, a vice president and financial consultant at Fidelity Investments.

"Most people wait too long," said Eric Wiegand, a financial planner and senior wealth adviser at River Wealth Advisors. "I often tell clients that estate planning is not really about death. It is about making life easier for your family if something unexpected happens."

Typically, having an estate plan becomes more important after someone gets married, has children or accumulates assets around which there could be confusion if something happened to the person.

The cost of preparing estate documents with the help of an attorney may run a couple of thousand dollars in total, depending on how complicated someone's situation is. Hiring a lawyer to draft a will can cost a few hundred dollars, according to Northwestern Mutual, and a lawyer can prepare power-of-attorney and health-agent documents for a similar amount.

Meanwhile, the cost of an online will template can range from free to around $100, with additional charges for a review by a lawyer associated with the company offering the template. Free templates for power-of-attorney and health-agent documents may be available from a state agency, and those will need to be signed by a witness or notarized.

And while there are many decisions to be made, "you do not need to solve everything in one conversation. The goal is simply to get aligned on what is important and start putting a plan in place," Wiegand said.

Preparedness means having regular discussions with your spouse and other family members, not just one conversation, Viktorin said. "While it can feel overwhelming, the good news is you can start small," he said.

Financial experts shared three prompts, which people can adjust to suit their own family, to jump-start a conversation with parents about their estate plans.

1. If something happened tomorrow, where would we start?

Most parents may be more comfortable talking about preparedness than discussing the size of their estate.

"I think adult children should approach the conversation from a position of helping, not inheriting," Wiegand said. "Instead of asking, 'How much do you have?' ask, 'If there was an emergency tomorrow, would we know who to call and where the important documents are?'"

Follow-up questions, according to Unique Estate Law, a firm based in Minneapolis, might include:

-- Do you have a will or trust?

-- Do you have a healthcare agent, and have you given someone power of attorney?

-- Where are your estate-planning documents?

-- Is there anything the family should know if something unexpected happens?

-- Are there people you'd like us to contact if an emergency arises?

If parents do not want to share everything, that is OK, Weigand said. "The most important thing is knowing whether they have a plan, who is responsible for carrying it out and where key documents can be found," he added.

To help launch the conversation, Viktorin said, "you might casually toss out that you've read recently about how important it is that kids have some awareness of and possibly access to their parents' personal finance information in case they ever need help managing their money."

2. On a scale from 1 to 10, how relaxed do you feel about your plans for the future?

This question "often opens the door to broader discussions about finances, healthcare decisions, estate planning and family responsibilities," Viktorin said.

Wiegand said that often, "families wait until a health event or crisis forces the conversation, and that is when emotions are high and decisions become more difficult. The families that navigate these situations best are usually the ones that have had multiple conversations over time, not one big conversation during an emergency."

3. I've been working on some estate planning lately. What protections do you already have in place?

Adult children who are making their own plans can bring up that they've recently met with a lawyer to draft powers of attorney for financial and health situations, in case they are ever in a situation in which they can't make those decisions themselves. "Then ask your parents what protections they already have in place," Viktorin said.

If parents need more guidance, children can offer to provide information or sample documents for them to review, share their own experience deciding how their estate will be handled, or suggest meeting with their own attorney to get more details.